Ranratkab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking bird.

Ranratkab created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranratkab, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ranratkab, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Ranratkab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Ranratkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to geese while wearing turquoise coats.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ranratkab.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Ranratkab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.