Wipmonquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful aardvark.

Wipmonquaf created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipmonquaf, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wipmonquaf, it will turn you into a mole.

Wipmonquaf's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Wipmonquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

2. Never wear fawn scarves.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Wipmonquaf on top of important buildings.