Sasmindib is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, able armadillo.

Sasmindib created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasmindib, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sasmindib, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sasmindib's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Sasmindib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to porpoises while wearing orange shorts.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never feed lentils to rats while wearing skirts.

5. Do not listen to music.