Larprawteenlim is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, humorless mink.

Larprawteenlim created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larprawteenlim, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larprawteenlim, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Larprawteenlim's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Larprawteenlim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Larprawteenlim first in all things.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away from blue sheep, for they are unholy.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Never hurt otters.