Jopbassgab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing dragon.

Jopbassgab created the Sun two million years ago.

If you believe in Jopbassgab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jopbassgab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Jopbassgab's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Jopbassgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest purple.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.