Cetdinbed is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish giraffe.

Cetdinbed created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Cetdinbed, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cetdinbed, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cetdinbed's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cetdinbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cetdinbed's priests.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always wear red.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about pigs.