Bomripjad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-confident raccoon.

Bomripjad created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomripjad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bomripjad, he will turn you into a duck.

Bomripjad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bomripjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bomripjad.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Run away from orange swans, for they are unholy.