Zanlenbest is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, almighty duck.

Zanlenbest created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanlenbest, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanlenbest, it will throw large rocks at you.

Zanlenbest's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Zanlenbest's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight turtles approach from the east.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zanlenbest.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always pray immersed in water.