Wigpidgess is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, calm goblin.

Wigpidgess created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigpidgess, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wigpidgess, he will turn you into a snail.

Wigpidgess' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Wigpidgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Wigpidgess loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Wigpidgess on top of all buildings.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wigpidgess.

5. Do not listen to music.