Dodtalparkxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring pigeon.

Dodtalparkxuc created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodtalparkxuc, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dodtalparkxuc, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dodtalparkxuc's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dodtalparkxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Retreat if four dolphins approach from the west.