Sakominwap is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless lion.

Sakominwap created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakominwap, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sakominwap, she will ignore you.

Sakominwap's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Sakominwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of hamsters.

2. Do not take Sakominwap's name in vain.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. You must never eat cucumbers.