Gomquagcar is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, awesome beaver.

Gomquagcar created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomquagcar, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gomquagcar, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Gomquagcar's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gomquagcar's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Never skip near nematodes.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Gomquagcar must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.