Sidfenvid is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, contented hippopotamus.

Sidfenvid created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidfenvid, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sidfenvid, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sidfenvid's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Sidfenvid's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near voles while wearing yellow jumpers.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Pray towards the north.