Flammidzig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish swallow.

Flammidzig created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Flammidzig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flammidzig, he will turn you into a tree.

Flammidzig's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Flammidzig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never bounce near porpoises.

4. Never mention foxes.

5. Always pray immersed in water.