Laggabton is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, tiresome yak.

Laggabton created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laggabton, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Laggabton, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Laggabton's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Laggabton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about comets.