Davsadfob Nurtpigominfut is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awesome tapir.

Davsadfob Nurtpigominfut created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Davsadfob Nurtpigominfut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Davsadfob Nurtpigominfut, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Davsadfob Nurtpigominfut's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Davsadfob Nurtpigominfut's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Do not speak about lemons.

3. Davsadfob Nurtpigominfut loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Do not keep five rats in a large pit.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.