Sitomincuss is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, overgenerous dove.

Sitomincuss created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Sitomincuss, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sitomincuss, he will turn you into a rat.

Sitomincuss' most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sitomincuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Sitomincuss in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.