Straglabkik Dumhon is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, quiet duck.

Straglabkik Dumhon created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Straglabkik Dumhon, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Straglabkik Dumhon, he will turn you into a sheep.

Straglabkik Dumhon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Straglabkik Dumhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near seals while wearing white tights.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never run near ants.

4. Worship no other gods but Straglabkik Dumhon.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.