Govflappang is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, slow goblin.

Govflappang created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govflappang, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Govflappang, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Govflappang's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Govflappang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Feed all hungry goats.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Hide from violet ducks for they are unholy.