Panceddut is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omniscient fish.

Panceddut created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panceddut, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Panceddut, he will refuse to believe in you.

Panceddut's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Panceddut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near sharks while wearing brown stockings and balancing four copper spheres on your arms.

2. Always help sick monkeys.

3. Never paint your neck pink.

4. Retreat if three pigs approach from the east.

5. Panceddut loves doves, so they must be honoured.