Zandumbenrullartstikgetbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a small, proud guinea pig.

Zandumbenrullartstikgetbeg created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zandumbenrullartstikgetbeg, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zandumbenrullartstikgetbeg, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zandumbenrullartstikgetbeg's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zandumbenrullartstikgetbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always help seals.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near sheep while wearing brown hats and balancing seven nickel spheres on your feet.

4. Do not keep nine hamsters in a large pit.

5. Zandumbenrullartstikgetbeg must be the most important thing in your life.