Pidkamwit is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, moody whale.

Pidkamwit created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidkamwit, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pidkamwit, it will turn you into a puffin.

Pidkamwit's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Pidkamwit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three titanium sculptures of Pidkamwit on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Pidkamwit.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.