Abnurjon is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful faun.

Abnurjon created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abnurjon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Abnurjon, he will curse you with boils.

Abnurjon's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Abnurjon's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about special relativity near voles while wearing gray scarves and balancing seven copper spheres on your arms.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never look in ponds.