Spagkamditnarlmig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful eagle.

Spagkamditnarlmig created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Spagkamditnarlmig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagkamditnarlmig, it will be very unhappy.

Spagkamditnarlmig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Spagkamditnarlmig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Run away from black turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Always treat ducks with great respect.

4. Never feed lots of gooseberries to mice while wearing brown shorts.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.