Vadpoglak is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humane wyrm.

Vadpoglak created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadpoglak, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vadpoglak, she will jump up and down on your head.

Vadpoglak's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Vadpoglak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not drink alcohol.