Wodfomjap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous eagle.

Wodfomjap created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodfomjap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wodfomjap, she will boil you in a big pot.

Wodfomjap's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Wodfomjap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never think ill of sick doves.