Ponontshav Kindutgom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful dove.

Ponontshav Kindutgom created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponontshav Kindutgom, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ponontshav Kindutgom, it will send minions to preach to you.

Ponontshav Kindutgom's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ponontshav Kindutgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sheep.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not make images of living things.