Cebmitbum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid crab.

Cebmitbum created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Cebmitbum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cebmitbum, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cebmitbum's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cebmitbum's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cebmitbum.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Do not cook food in pots.