Mabgedpak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, resourceful porpoise.

Mabgedpak created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabgedpak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mabgedpak, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Mabgedpak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Mabgedpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not take Mabgedpak's name in vain.