Saflancun is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthinking clam.

Saflancun created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saflancun, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Saflancun, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Saflancun's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Saflancun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Saflancun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.