Fatdogtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, humane scorpion.

Fatdogtaf created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatdogtaf, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fatdogtaf, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fatdogtaf's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fatdogtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near hamsters.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near capybaras while wearing mauve shirts and balancing six gold spheres on your neck.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never wear tights.