Somkandanflag is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unjust guinea pig.

Somkandanflag created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somkandanflag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Somkandanflag, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Somkandanflag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Somkandanflag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Never talk about optics near manatees while wearing indigo scarves and balancing four tin spheres on your arms.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never pour water over plants.