Govgovjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unsympathetic shrew.

Govgovjarn created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govgovjarn, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Govgovjarn, she will ignore you.

Govgovjarn's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Govgovjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near horses while wearing blue jumpers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your chest.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about black holes.