Janhubjig Gudominwiplim is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, sage guinea pig.

Janhubjig Gudominwiplim created the Milkyway eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janhubjig Gudominwiplim, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Janhubjig Gudominwiplim, she will send you a sign.

Janhubjig Gudominwiplim's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Janhubjig Gudominwiplim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise jumpers.

2. Janhubjig Gudominwiplim loves rats, so they must be respected.

3. Do not take Janhubjig Gudominwiplim's name in vain.

4. Always obey Janhubjig Gudominwiplim's priests.

5. Always help sick monkeys.