Camvonkcam is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, humane hydra.

Camvonkcam created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Camvonkcam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Camvonkcam, she will cry a lot.

Camvonkcam's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Camvonkcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs pink.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Put Camvonkcam first in all things.

4. Camvonkcam must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never wear skirts.