Vagsugtal is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish penguin.

Vagsugtal created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Vagsugtal, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vagsugtal, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Vagsugtal's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vagsugtal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near goats while wearing white trousers and balancing seven silicon spheres on your chest.

4. Never paint your feet turquoise.

5. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.