Tamwipmot is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful shrew.

Tamwipmot created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Tamwipmot, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tamwipmot, he will turn you into a duck.

Tamwipmot's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tamwipmot's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never feed apples to nematodes while wearing scarves.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not take Tamwipmot's name in vain.

5. Tamwipmot loves voles, so they must be respected.