Vabweedod Capfidhab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying jaguar.

Vabweedod Capfidhab created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Vabweedod Capfidhab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vabweedod Capfidhab, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vabweedod Capfidhab's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Vabweedod Capfidhab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near pigs while wearing cyan ear rings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Fast once a month.