Appquatnigbatflab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, pitiless centipede.

Appquatnigbatflab created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appquatnigbatflab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Appquatnigbatflab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Appquatnigbatflab's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Appquatnigbatflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat cats with great respect.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think ill of sick badgers.

4. Never feed melons to otters while wearing red dresses.

5. Always help sick tapirs.