Hapjarnlop is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, astonishing snake.

Hapjarnlop created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hapjarnlop, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hapjarnlop, he will turn you into a worm.

Hapjarnlop's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hapjarnlop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not commit murder.