Laprutwig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, impressive gnu.

Laprutwig created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laprutwig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Laprutwig, she will remove you from existence.

Laprutwig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Laprutwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Laprutwig on top of all buildings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always treat capybaras with great respect.