Vidflowcatkab Jarngodsishimtenjabtad is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciless crab.

Vidflowcatkab Jarngodsishimtenjabtad created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vidflowcatkab Jarngodsishimtenjabtad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vidflowcatkab Jarngodsishimtenjabtad, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vidflowcatkab Jarngodsishimtenjabtad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Vidflowcatkab Jarngodsishimtenjabtad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. You must pray to Vidflowcatkab Jarngodsishimtenjabtad four times a day.