Gigzagfit is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid chicken.

Gigzagfit created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigzagfit, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gigzagfit, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gigzagfit's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Gigzagfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never hurt badgers.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Run away if seven manatees approach from the west.