Wigvenmum is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, idiotic jackal.

Wigvenmum created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigvenmum, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wigvenmum, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Wigvenmum's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Wigvenmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of bats.

2. Do not hurt doves.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Do not keep seven dogs in a large pit.