Jadbopquim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, deceitful goblin.

Jadbopquim created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadbopquim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jadbopquim, he will turn you into a duck.

Jadbopquim's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Jadbopquim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine otters approach from the south.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jadbopquim.

4. Worship no other gods but Jadbopquim.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.