Nurlfemhad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, witty alligator.

Nurlfemhad created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfemhad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nurlfemhad, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nurlfemhad's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Nurlfemhad's Holy Commandments

1. Nurlfemhad loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never mention porpoises.

3. Erect seven gold sculptures of Nurlfemhad on top of important buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.