Gabyarlwat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest dog.

Gabyarlwat created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabyarlwat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gabyarlwat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gabyarlwat's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Gabyarlwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Run away from violet badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear purple dresses.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.