Homyarptarp is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless hedgehog.

Homyarptarp created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homyarptarp, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Homyarptarp, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Homyarptarp's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Homyarptarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near mice while wearing white scarves and balancing four platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Hide if eight porpoises approach from the north.