Tinranteen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, prudent seal.

Tinranteen created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinranteen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tinranteen, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tinranteen's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tinranteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help ants.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.