Janlegkanran is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful wolf.

Janlegkanran created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Janlegkanran, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Janlegkanran, he will turn you into a mouse.

Janlegkanran's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Janlegkanran's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never mention goats.

5. Do not stand on grass.